


This Treacherous Terrain

by arabmorgan



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-23 08:59:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11986530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arabmorgan/pseuds/arabmorgan
Summary: In which Tony looks for aliens but an alien finds him first (and he doesn't even realise).





	This Treacherous Terrain

Tony first met Loki in a doughnut shop.

“If I may trouble you,” came a deliciously smooth voice from behind him in the queue, and what really made him turn was the sheer weight of _expectation_ in that voice. It was a voice that absolutely demanded to be heard and responded to, no ‘if’s or ‘may’s about it.

So he pivoted smoothly, his sardonic, please-keep-at-arm’s-length grin firmly in place. “Only if you can afford it,” he responded reflexively, eyeing the surprisingly tall man before him from behind tinted glasses.

Well, the face certainly matched the voice – slick and imperious and cold. Not to mention unfairly attractive.

Right at that moment, it also looked politely bewildered, so much so that Tony actually sighed, “It’s a joke, handsome.”

Weren’t the British supposed to enjoy sarcasm or something?

The man eyed him for a moment longer, before continuing, “If you would be so kind as to enlighten me as to the contents of this… _Oreo_ confection.”

Had any other sentence accompanied that imperious manner, Tony might have taken offence. As it was, he could only goggle stupidly at the guy sneering down his nose at him. Clearly, wonderfully-tailored suit aside, _someone_ had been residing in a cave for the past ninety years.

“Seriously? You’ve never heard of Oreos before?” he said, voice sharp with disbelief. It wouldn’t be the first time people had tried to screw with Tony Stark, but this guy’s face was just too genuinely blank for it to be a prank.

Not to mention the open disdain on his face – _no one_ gave Tony that look in public, no matter how eccentric they thought he was.

“I would not have need to ask otherwise.” For some odd reason, it was the utter contempt dripping from the man’s voice that did it.

A wide grin spread across Tony’s face. Clearly, this guy didn’t know him from Adam, and he could roll with that just fine.

“Okay, look, these fine confections are called _doughnuts_ ,” he said, enunciating the last word with deliberate slowness, “and you’re missing out on life if you’ve never had one before. I’ll take one of every flavour please, darling.” This last sentence was directed to the wide-eyed cashier, who was clearly cultured enough to recognise him.

The man looked offended – or more offended than he already seemed, anyway. “I do know that these morsels are called doughnuts,” he snapped testily, which only served to cheer Tony up further.

Given the way he had been courting trouble all his life, he really shouldn’t have been surprised.

“Yeah, and where did you learn that? From the menu?”

The man honest-to-god _puffed up_ in anger, drawing himself up to his considerable full height. “I will _not_ tarry here in order to be mocked by one such as you,” he said, voice low and all the more threatening because of it.

Tony held up both arms in surrender. “Okay, okay,” he said pacifyingly, already feeling the stares of passers-by beginning to heat his back. He hated making scenes that weren’t of his own devising, and getting into a tussle with some guy who only spoke Ye Olde English was a surefire way to attract unwanted attention.

“No offence meant, okay? I’m just a pretty offensive guy in general.” Slapping down a few hundred bucks on the counter and picking up his box of doughnuts, he jerked his head in the direction of a table in the corner. “At least have a doughnut on me.”

Hah, have a doughnut _on him_. But he kept his mouth shut for once, settling for raising his brows at the broody-looking man instead, who had a strangely torn expression on his face.

“Is it not customary to invite a guest back to one’s home when offering refreshments?” Honestly, he looked like he was trying to decide whether or not to be insulted all over again or not.

Tony could not believe this was happening to him. Maybe the man really _was_ just an Oscar-deserving actor who wanted nothing more than to get a peek into Tony Stark’s own home before selling his _hilarious_ story to every tabloid in existence.

His expression must have slipped noticeably, because the man displayed the first sign of hesitation that Tony had seen so far, his head dipping slightly. “I apologise if I have caused offence. I am unfamiliar with the customs of your – land.” There was that easily-missed pause near the end, as if the word ‘land’ had been a substitute for something else instead.

It was all very odd, and Tony was magnetically attracted to odd. In addition to trouble, disasters and accidents, among other things.

Immediately, his thousand-megawatt smile flashed back into being. “Takes way more than using pretty words to offend _me_ , Shakespeare. Now, follow me if you want to enjoy your doughnuts in peace.”

Only when they were in the car and on the way back to the Tower did he extend his hand and say, “Tony Stark. Nice to meet you.”

There was no flash of recognition, no tempered amusement – although he did catch Happy giving him a rather surprised look in the mirror.

“Loki,” the man replied, looking completely unembarrassed not to be offering his surname as well. Then he spent about two seconds looking at Tony’s hand before gripping it tentatively.

Weird.

But seriously, _Loki_. Tony wasn’t an expert in mythology of any kind, but he knew the bare bones, and he probably would have been inclined to disbelieve the guy if he didn’t have such an undeniably European accent as well. Maybe he was from one of those isolated little villages that sat on a clifftop and didn’t get doughnut deliveries.

Or world news, apparently.

“So, first time in the US of A, huh?” he said conversationally. Loki was so uptight that it actually helped to put him at ease; it was the sneaky, relaxed ones with ulterior motives that Tony had learned to watch out for.

Loki blinked at him. “Indeed.”

“Right,” Tony said slowly. “Uh, are you here on your own? On vacation? Any special places you were intending to visit?”

The questions seemed to perk Loki up somewhat, the first flickers of a sincere smile playing about his lips. “I was here with my brother, but we parted ways some days ago after he decided to remain in the company of a lady who unintentionally attacked him with her vehicle. For now, I am merely wandering. Your land is most fascinating.” He paused thoughtfully, tugging absently at the lapels of his coat.

Deciding to put aside any questions about the brother who had been _attacked_ by some chick’s car, Tony chuckled. “Well, I can probably help you out with that, get you easy access to wherever. All those touristy places. I mean, seriously, you’ve _never_ heard of me? Ever?”

It was narcissistic, admittedly, but the last time he had been in Shanghai for business negotiations, a whole throng of fans had met him at the airport, and half of them probably didn’t even speak English. He simply couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that someone who _didn’t know who he was_ actually existed in America right now.

Again, another mildly disdainful look was directed his way. “Not a word,” Loki confirmed, and he seemed to take some pleasure from admitting as much. “I take it you are well-known about these parts?”

Tony’s eyes widened, his expression scandalised. “Look, I’m the _face_ of technological innovation in the _world_ right now. Phones, laptops, microwaves – you name it, we’re in the business. Usually companies hire models for their ads but I figure, if you have Tony Stark, why not use him? And I don’t even need to pay myself advertising fees.”

Loki looked largely amused, if also just a little lost again. “That is most impressive,” he acknowledged, although the effect was mostly ruined by the tiny smirk on his face.

With a huff, Tony waved a hand dismissively. “It’s fine, it’s not important. It’s nice to meet someone who doesn’t know shit about me anyway.”

Although it _had_ thrown him, more than he cared to admit. He had often fantasised about meeting someone just like Loki, who would be able to judge him on his own merits, who would eventually befriend him for himself, but the actual experience turned out to be way stranger than he had expected.

But then, Loki seemed stranger than the norm anyway, so that was all par for the course.

The ride up the elevator once they reached the Tower only cemented his impression of Loki as a village boy, fashionable forest-green suit or no. Once he got over being startled by the fact that he was in a moving box, the man looked utterly _charmed_ , which in turn only made him that much more charming.

Loki really did have a very nice smile, with all that straight white teeth, and it made his eyes crinkle endearingly at the corners as well.

It actually made Tony feel a little uncomfortable to be so attracted to a guy who was completely unaware of his carelessness with partners, like there was a little innocent bubble around Loki that billionaire playboys weren’t supposed to touch.

Well, at least he looked to be in his mid-thirties thereabouts; small mercies indeed. Tony would’ve felt _awful_ preying on some young twenty-something who didn’t know the first thing about him.

“Welcome home, Sir,” JARVIS – bless him – said as soon as they stepped into the penthouse, “and a very good afternoon to your guest as well.”

“This is Loki,” he said absently, moving to set the doughnuts down on the counter even as he caught sight of said man doing an obvious double-take in the corner of his eye. “Loki, JARVIS is, um – don’t suppose you watch sci-fi. He’s an AI, an artificial intelligence? Like a super computer – a super sentient computer. He takes care of me – as best he can, anyway.”

“I certainly do, Sir,” JARVIS acknowledged snootily.

“He doesn’t have a physical body,” he added after a moment of watching Loki glare around suspiciously in the most amusing manner. “He’s just…a _presence_. Sort of a ghost, you might say, but not really. A machine, you know?”

He really was doing a first-rate job of bungling up his explanation, but then how on earth was he supposed to explain _JARVIS_ to someone who had emerged fully formed from some backwater place?

“He is a presence?” Loki repeated, seeming to have latched on to that one word as he looked all around, some of the hostility on his face fading to a more open curiosity. “Of your making, I presume?”

Tony beamed, pleased. “Well, obviously. Here, have a doughnut.” He pushed the fateful Oreo-topped dessert into Loki’s hands, watching closely as the man took a small, experimental bite of it. His green eyes lit up like a beacon, even as his eyebrows scrunched together, his jaw moving with slow deliberation.

“It is very _sweet_ ,” he pronounced at last, tongue darting out to lick thoughtfully at his lips. “Delicious.”

Tony couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped; he hadn’t felt so unworried in another’s presence in a long time. All Loki wanted from him was literally and simply _doughnuts_. He loved Pepper, but she always brought work with her wherever she went, and he loved Rhodey, but the Army had been absolutely monopolising his best friend’s time recently.

“Yeah, well, there’s a whole box here. Feel free,” he said casually, taking one for himself before moving to take a seat on the sofa.

“You have my thanks,” Loki said, and proceeded to pluck another doughnut out of the box so that he had a doughnut in each hand. He looked absolutely ridiculous, and it didn’t help that his expression was as neutral as could be as he began to wander about Tony’s living room, occasionally taking a bite out of whichever took his fancy.

Tony stared distractedly at the guy’s butt as he walked slowly to and fro, thinking about how utterly _weird_ it was for him to have someone in his own home for no reason other than to have dessert. And it wasn’t even an extravagant, miniscule piece of dessert – more like ten-year-old teatime dessert.

“What manner of contraptions are these?” Loki’s even voice interrupted his musings (and staring), and he immediately snapped to attention. The other man had stopped before the shelves lining the wall beside his TV, a whole array of various gadgets and electronics arranged haphazardly on them, as if they were often retrieved and replaced. A few had parts that swivelled slowly in place, others had slowly blinking lights, and it was those that Loki seemed most fascinated with.

Right. Just another thing that everyone but Loki knew about Tony Stark.

“It’s my hobby,” he replied, holding back the urge to let out a nervous laugh, because he was _not_ ashamed. “I mean, I build. Pretty much everything my company sells? Designed by me. And _these_ are mostly built by yours truly as well; either that or significantly upgraded after purchase.”

“But what is their function? Surely they are not intended to be… _aesthetically_ pleasing.” Loki lifted a hand before lowering it again, like he had wanted to poke one of the spinning machines before abruptly remembering the doughnut he was still holding.

Tony sighed. “They’re supposed to detect paranormal activity.”

“Paranormal activity?” Loki repeated, sounding not at all alarmed. He didn’t even turn around, only continued to inspect the gadgets one by one with what Tony felt was really undue interest.

“Well, yeah, you know ghosts and stuff? But I’m less interested in the spirit part than the _alien_ part.” Getting to his feet, he slowly approached Loki’s side, feeling the inopportune urge to share come over him. “See, this EMF metre? It’s supposed to detect changes in electromagnetic fields caused by any passing extra-terrestrials. Obviously, the range was shit at first, but I improved it.”

“And this?”

“Oh, that’s supposed to detect alien brainwaves or something like that. I actually went to talk to people who claimed to have been abducted and all that shit, visited abduction sites, talked to other experts in the field. So, you know, it’s not just all _conjecture_.” He felt oddly defensive, even though Loki hadn’t displayed any sign of thinking him off his rocker.

Not that this was a big secret anyway. The whole world knew about his little hobby – hard to hide it when he was flying around in his private jet talking to members of the public about it – and they either didn’t give a shit or chalked it down to him being ‘just another eccentric rich guy’.

Being humoured just got tiring after a while.

“When you speak of aliens, I presume you refer to beings not of your world?” Loki turned to face him at last, clear amusement suffusing his features.

Tony felt something in him drop. It felt a lot like disappointment.

“Well, yeah. I guess. I used to be more into the whole ghost part of it, but that was when I was younger. You know, how kids love pretending to be the Ghostbusters and all.” He shrugged, looking away and taking another bite of his doughnut.

“And how did this, ah, hobby of yours begin?” The way Loki spoke seemed almost delicate, as if he was skimming the edges of a joke Tony wasn’t privy to.

Tony shot him a suspicious look, and didn’t bother concealing it either. If his guest was going to be rude, he wasn’t going to have any qualms about doing the same right back.

“My dad was always going on about some guy he knew who died in the war. He was _obsessed_ with finding him, so little ol’ me thought maybe I could help him out, get him into contact with the guy’s spirit or whatever.” He shrugged. “But I moved on eventually. Aliens are just so much more interesting, you know? In the end, ghosts are just dead humans; there’s only so much new stuff they can tell you.”

Loki raised a brow. “And you think these aliens will have new information for you?”

Tony snorted. “You think? Technology, culture, food, dressing, anatomy,” he listed off on his fingers. “The possibilities are _endless_. As long as they come in peace instead of with the intention of conquering our planet or whatever.”

Loki’s lips twitched, a fresh twinkle of amusement lighting his eyes.

Abruptly, the enthusiasm drained out of Tony. “It’s just something I do to occupy my time,” he said flatly, turning away fully and walking over to the full-length windows.

“It is merely – I did not realise that you – that people had interest in such subjects. You _must_ tell me more. For instance, has this device been able to detect the mind of any alien?”

Tony jumped slightly when he felt Loki lay a hand on his shoulder. He turned, his emotions a churning mess in his gut. On the one hand, it was never nice to feel like the butt of a joke, but on the other – well, was Loki just trying to embarrass him further or was he actually interested?

It wasn’t like he’d _asked_ for this obsession; it was simply a childhood hobby that had quite spiralled out of control. He supposed some part of him had never really given up on helping dear ol’ Dad find his favourite pal Steve whatshisname.

Loki still looked to be in rather good humour, but his expression was far from mocking, and Tony allowed himself an expressive sigh. “Nope, never. I guess visits are pretty few and far between, or else everyone would’ve seen an alien by now.”

“Hm.” Loki polished off his first doughnut with more grace than should be possible, before continuing, “It seems to me that you are attempting to track a – a horse by following a set of paw prints. You will never know if these devices are arranged in such a way as to locate what you are attempting to find.”

Tony paused. “Like, I might be trying to detect the wrong kind of brainwaves? Yeah, I mean, I’ve thought of that, but there isn’t much I can do about that. I’ve widened the range of data collected as best I can, so at this point it’s kind of a waiting game.”

Loki stared at him for a moment longer, looking for all the world as if there was a very heavy weight at the tip of his tongue. Tony was on the verge of telling him to just spit it out when the other man finally smiled, albeit a little ruefully.

“I wish you the very best in your endeavours, then.”

Tony raised a brow, a slow smile forming on his features. “Yeah? Well, thanks. I don’t get that a lot.”

Loki looked mildly surprised at that. “And why is that so? The pursuit of all knowledge is a noble venture, all the more so if it is a rarely-trodden path.”

“You sound a lot like this tiny inner voice I have that always urges me to do stupid things that get me into trouble,” Tony admitted with a huge grin, giving the taller man a friendly slap on the shoulder.

Loki seemed to like that, the physical contact, because something about his posture relaxed, became more open as he shifted to face Tony. He opened his mouth to say something, but just then, JARVIS interrupted.

“Unprecedented energy readings detected just beyond city limits, Sir. Large-scale atmospheric disturbance. Possible paranormal causes.”

Tony physically felt his jaw fall open, but he probably wouldn’t have bothered to stop it from happening anyway. His gaze flicked to Loki’s, knowing he looked completely flabbergasted.

“What is happening?” Loki’s dark brows were furrowed, his eyes fixed somewhere near the speakers JARVIS’ voice had emanated from.

“JARV has _never_ announced anything like this before,” Tony said hurriedly, his voice hushed in awe. “We get a lot of shams, as you can guess, and sometimes I take a look if it sounds possible, but JARVIS is programmed only to inform me of something that is _almost certainly legitimate_.”

A wild burst of laughter escaped him, low and very slightly hysterical, originating from somewhere deep in his chest. He couldn’t believe his luck.

“Tony.” Loki was beginning to look slightly annoyed. “You suspect this unexplained phenomenon is not of Mid – Earthly origin?”

Tony was already halfway across the room, grabbing a duffle bag stashed beneath the counter. “Yeah, duh!” he called, ducking back out and hurrying over to the elevator.

When he turned back, Loki was still standing in the middle of the living room, a half-eaten doughnut in one hand. He looked unexpectedly sulky, but Tony really didn’t have the time to deal with pouty village residents, not right now.

“Well, are you coming or not?” he said impatiently. “Trust me, this is gonna be the experience of the lifetime. You won’t want to miss this.”

Loki stared at him for a moment more, before something in his eyes cleared. He threw his shoulders back and all but _stalked_ over to Tony’s side, looking darkly anticipatory.

“Very well,” he said coolly, amusement tempered by thinly-laced sarcasm. “Let us go and see this _alien_ of yours.”

**Author's Note:**

> (Yes, it's the Bifrost, because yes, Thor skipped off home for some reason or other without a single care in the world.) At which point Tony and Loki begin traipsing around on an intense alien hunt as they gradually fall for each other until it finally comes to light that _Loki is an alien_ , and then cue a bit of Tony angst at being kept in the dark before the requisite happy ending.
> 
> But really, sorry for the poor ending. I started this almost a year ago and it was supposed to have a second chapter but I just couldn't figure it out? And I decided I actually liked the first chapter enough to post it so - I hope it wasn't too bad!


End file.
